Ah, the struggles blog. What can I say? Everything has been a struggle lately. I detail my website struggles in my Tuesday blog, so I won’t repeat those. The heat has also been in excess. I keep the air conditioning on as much as I can, but man, my electric bill is out of hand. I am having some serious problems with money this week. It feels like everyone wants a piece of me right now. My website issues have really put me behind on working on decals or my other revenue streams. I do hate to talk about money, but being a small business, it is just bound to come up. The struggle is real.
I have so many ideas, but then I sit down at my desk and all these problems keep popping up so I feel like I am just standing still. I like to feel more like I have made progress with my day. Today I am trying to set aside some of those problems and just catch up. So far I have caught myself up on my APG Studios blog posts, plus I have copied a couple of those over to Flocked.Media. I like to do that if it is a blog that seems somewhat relevant to what Flocked is about. So any time I talk about pop culture, it pretty much is assured that I will also post that on Flocked. I still have other writing to do for Flocked, but I just have to take things step by step. I have my lists, so I won’t forget what I have to do. In fact, I make sure I am constantly reminded… which is probably a wee bit of why I can so stress myself out. I constantly think of everything at once. It is hard to get through that crowded room into a nice, quiet space where I can not only think but I can accomplish.
My mind is my own worst enemy. I think I say something to that effect every week, but it is also true every week. I am making slow progress towards my goals, but at least there is some progress in there. Plus I finished laundry and cleaned up my closet. That always feels good. Balancing my indoor chores, outdoor chores, and my business and hobbies is not easy and is another source of my stress. But on the bright side, my friend came over on Saturday and took care of 90% of my list of outdoor chores, including mowing the lawn and spreading some mulch. I helped with one little thing, but it was just all him. Mainly I was able to work on some computer things while he did that. Although, I did finally use the touch-up paint on my Jeep where she needed it and I vacuumed and swept my kitchen and the adjacent hallway. Back to my friend, though, it was so wonderful to have that kind of help. I know I don’t often feel like socializing, but it is nice to know I have a few great and patient friends out there.
I just feel worn out. So much to do, plus the heat… not to mention that pesky Fibromyalgia thing… and then my depression and anxiety acting out… This has definitely been a rough patch for me. I just have to remind myself that slow progress is still progress. Baby steps. Try to take things one at a time. Ugh, I wish it was as easy to do as it is to say. It would be awesome to have a maid for a day just to get things back to where I want them. I should also be proud of myself for getting out of bed each day and getting dressed, working at what I can, and just generally surviving. Sometimes surviving is all you can do. I long for fall and winter and just generally cooler days. I think that would go a long way to helping me be a little more useful in my own life.
Sometimes I feel like I could just use a vacation from my life. Of course, then I worry that if I go somewhere I will just be more behind on my life when I get back. But who knows, I could have a different view when I got back, too. You never know how something is going to affect you until it happens. Good or bad.
So to sum up, this week’s struggle is surviving. Yeah, I know there is more to it than that and things aren’t as bad as they could be… but really, I just want to survive this week and hopefully enjoy a better one in the future. Next week I could be going away for a few days to a Comic Con. That is a most-welcome adventure. It doesn’t help my money problems, but it could help me deal with myself a little better to get away to a new city for a little while. It has to happen. I need to make sure it does. It would be so nice to just get a little refresher. I really want this.
This was not well-written, but my thoughts are not well-ordered today. I have worked on some difficult things today and it is probably just time for a break. So in addition to surviving, I guess my struggle is writing a clear story on what my struggle really is right now. Better luck to me for next week.
Here are a few more pieces of Clip Art that I found in my Google search results. Enjoy…